Even if just one person engages in a committed practice of compassionate communication shifts can begin to occur at home. The reason is because the past responses to conflict are disrupted and replaced with more grounded, regulated, and honest expressions of what is really going on. Those wild, free-flowing outbursts of frustration, anger, resentment, and impatience, now look something like,
Hey, you were late for our therapy appointment. I felt irate, helpless, embarrassed, and worried. Communication, dependability, and participation are really important to me, especially when it comes to us. Can you agree to call or text me in the future if you’re going to be late?
Leading with this approach (instead of yelling, shaming, throwing digs, or ignoring), even if just by one person, can truly help to begin the process of creating different responses. Different responses translate into different feelings and different feelings have the ability to transform connection at home (or anywhere, really). This takes practice, and with practice, you may just find more peace!